Updated: Feb 22, 2019
I'm one who likes to get straight to the point; so here goes. As I child, I was a victim of trauma. I was told if I said anything he would kill me and then my mom. I lived with that secret for 15 years. During that same 15 years, I lived in a home that was full of verbal abuse and constant chaos. It is a place I never want to find myself ever again. I sought counseling and it helped, but she mentioned if I had a daughter it would most likely resurface. Fast forward 15 more years, I had my first child, a girl. The night I brought her home, I had a panic attack. Being a new mom is scary as hell, but add in severe postpartum, anger / rage, and it is a mix for mental disaster. I told no one. I lied to my doctor and I lied to the nurse. I somehow believed if I told them the thoughts I was having they would take my daughter. Crazy, huh!? Always tell your doctor and a close friend - ALWAYS! Don't do what I did.
My daughter turned 2 and decided to stay home due to some health issues she was having at the time. That's when severe anxiety and depression set in. I still dealt with that alone, and my circle of friends became super small. It was hard staying home and even harder on my marriage. I recall before having kids I would hear stay at home moms talk about their challenges - I thought they be silly. I thought staying home meant sleeping in, going to lunch and Target when you want, staying on the phone with your friends, wearing PJs, and every single moment was bliss. Nope; it's none of that... All moms are different though. Some moms look like they have all shit together, and have every single hour scheduled. Kudos! I am not one of those. I have to take it day by day.
Comparison is the thief of joy. (quote by Theodore Roosevelt) Drink that up everyday. Don't compare and be kind.
Seven years later, here I am. The below photo was taken by Ashlie on one of her soul shifting retreats in Guatemala. When I first spoke to my husband about this retreat, he gave a look, gasped and said "Why can't you just do this in Cleveland!?". Normal reaction for a husband being blindsided by a request for his wife and mother of children to just say babe, I am leaving the country for 7 days, I don't know anyone I am meeting up with, and I will not have cell coverage. Peace out.
It was on this trip that I experienced some really profound shifts. Shift in my perspective, shift in life, shift for my kids life, and shift in my marriage. I've been thru some real shit in my life. But I decided to do something about, share my story. So many people are hurting - alone. People who are experiencing emotional pain are really good living with that secret. You'd never know they were hurting, you'd never know they needed help, and they don't even know where to start. As a women, it is so easy to stuff it down, down so deep that the energy of what it takes to simply not deal with it is suffocating. It will catch up to you and when it does, that is when the healing can truly begin and you experience your own bliss.
Bliss Awaits is not intended take the place of your current support system, it will only enhance it. Possibly even, provide new ideas to get thru your situation. There will be all sorts of modalities wrapped into your Bliss monthly mailer. You will also receive private Facebook group access to learn how to use what comes in your mailer. The back-story behind all those fun affirmations that is on our social media, journal prompts, and other events in the making. xo
Your Bliss Awaits,